Merry Merry Merry Christmas!

love!

slipping through...

I've been still eating only veggies, rice, beans, nuts, etc, but every now and then I have to admit I really enjoyed some fish...
I know...it's not a very good idea, but how could someone resist this:

well, I couldn't!
And I have to admit that it tasted awesome, and although in the morning my stomach didn't quite agree with my rich dinner, at least I was happy for a few hours last night... well not really, and I won't really repeat this experience very soon, but I had to share the fact that it's ok to slip at some point...just don't do it to often...

I was able to stop eating meat once I didn't stress myself out about the fact that I need to not eat meat; once that mental barrier was down, and I didn't exert any more pressure upon myself, I could let go easily. I just found out that in order to stay a vegetarian, you need to work with your mind, not against it, otherwise failure is in sight even from the beginning. And remember, I've been there, done that, that's how I know this!

In another order of ideas, my friends intend to cook a duck for Christmas...and I am a little bit desperate, as I don't know what I'm going to eat...I'll have to dig up the internet for some ideas...and share them here..

Have a great week, and may our determination help us in the hour of need!

Some explanations to give...

Autumn, romanticism, Halloween, lots of work at work and at home, getting home each day by dark, all these won't help me feel much active, but rather on the romantic, contemplative side... which means I'm not really all that efficient...

source: Google images

 This is the time when I would looove to stay in bed, cats curled up around me, sipping tea...or wine in the evening, and reading, reading, reading.... that's all I feel like doing these days, I read myself to exhaustion, I can't seem to get enough! as if time is running out and I won't be able to read all that I wish to read. It's like some strange clock is ticking and after it will have rang I won't be able to read anymore...strange...this is how I feel every year around Christmas..reading is actually my favorite occupation during the holidays...and writing also...but since writing has also become work (not in here of course!), I don't know how I will manage, I just hope I won't loose my enthusiasm for free and unconditioned writing, that is speaking my mind without being asked about anything!
All in all, I am about to keep up with everything again, I intend to get in time with everything, and even if I have 10 hours at work, three writing clients and tutoring during the weekend, three cats, a lot of true friends I don't want to ignore, one sister, two nieces and a brother in law, one sister in law and my bf's parents, as well as my poor bf who has to share me with all of the above, to divide myself between, and not necessarily in that order, or disorder; I am determined to make it all work! and read in between, read alot!
 Oh, how I love my life!
On the other hand, I'm kind of a a vegetarian since my birthday, so no more meat for me! I ate fish, which I might still include in my diet, even though not very often, as I don't like all types of fish... and since the cold is here upon us, I've been eating a lot of beans, peas, carrots, parsley, cilantro leaves, in fact any type of local leaves, and I have to say I miss spinach, green, crispy, alive spinach!

 Tomato soup is also high on my list, together with vegetables soup, which even though are not raw vegan, are still vegan and oh soooo good!

This is the nasty part about winter and being raw vegan, it is harder to reach, but I try keeping a balance through nuts and fruits, which are easily found, and of the latter I have stashes all over my home. I also started munching on my frozen munition, green peas and spinach, peppers and eggplant, and although they need to be heat processed, they were from M's mom's garden, fried or cut by her and me, so I know what I'm putting on my plate.
This is the most important aspect for me when it comes to what you're eating, knowing where it comes from, how it has been grown and harvested, and only in the last respect how you're cooking it. It might sound unpretentious and behind "purist" believes, but I didn't become vegan just for a fancy, and being one I personally believe means much more than just what you're eating, it's an attitude towards life itself. If I'm a bitch, it really doesn't matter what I'm eating, it won't do me any good, or the ones around me, but on that subject I'll develop much later. You must know what you're eating, since only plants that were cared for can be of a real help to our organism, you must have done at least one of the processes if not all in order to be able to call that plant your own, but on that aspect also I'll be speaking later.

When it comes to fruits, apples are my best option, also local (I can't wait for my little apple trees to grow up and give me my own apples!), but I must admit my morning smoothie always has banana in it, since that will be filling enough for a breakfast, and thus I won't eat anything until lunch.

 I love it that now it's oranges and lemons season, even if they come from Greece and Italy, they are really tasty right now. I've started pillaging my pantry for jams also, much better than all the junk chocolate M likes to buy and eat from the supermarket! I'm really fighting with him on that account! I bought raw peanuts and sunflower seeds, I intend to make some yummy cookies this weekend. M tried to eat the raw peanuts and he didn't like them one bit, I laughed so hard!! I bought one kilo and his eyes went wide when he saw it, and he was so dissapointed when he realized that they have a much more different taste when raw...


Happy winter to everyone out there who's experiencing this season!

Autumn glory...

I know I've been missing a little, but this beautiful autumn is distracting me a lot, I need to read a lot all the time during this season, I am dreaming with my eyes open a lot and feel great overall...so this is the season that does me good, in spite of what people say about feeling without energy and so on because they can't adapt to this sudden change. I on the other hand feel very much alive, my head is full of ideas and I feel the need to be good to everyone. This year more then ever.
I've been visiting my sister last weekend in Resita, a city between a few relatively small mountains, with fresh crisp air and not very attractive in fact, with too much concrete to be to my liking, but that is probably only because I live on the "happy green side" of Timisoara, as you could see here...

so when I was promenading with my little niece I was really stunned to find this:

somewhere near a business center, so we stayed there until it got dark. This little spot was so well hidden that I bet nobody really gives it any attention, behind a bus station and a wall of trees, and I guess it was made just for a bar terrace, but being deserted right now made it very attractive in my eyes. And that grass enchanted me...

...looking kind of nice...

...and it seemed to me that this place was like an oasis in a city I really do not like. It's strange how nature can adapt to even concrete and gas pollution by cars, but most of all to the negligence of man. And these beautiful plants, dressed up for autumn, are the living and breathing proof to that:

Just by looking at those colors we wonder how gracious and glorious nature is, this explosion fills our eyes with pleasure and warmth:

...and making us love and appreciate nature a little bit more:

I ask you HOW can something be so beautiful at random? without someone arranging it all, designing and thinking it through? every tree is a work of art, every leaf is a wonder....
On my third day of staying there I even decided to go out with the girls and play...and couldn't resist the beautiful grass on the football court...

it's strange how I forgot since I was little... how good it feels to be barefoot on grass...hmmmm...really strange what the big city can make of someone...and here's the beautiful view I had while walking on grass...

...really nice..Oh what are men compared to trees and mountains?

Have a wonderful rusty and orange, with little spots of brown and green weekend!

so beautiful...

In my constant wanderings through the virtual world, I come upon beautiful and meaningful things, just like this wonderful drawing, which I thought I would share further on:

credits: Seashell eyes

It is wonderful, right? and we should all listen to it...So let's enjoy life, eat fruits and vegetables that are local, alive and fresh, but most of all...

don't waste food!

The vitamin cure...

We all know our immune system is challenged during fall...so what's your cure? Mine is...fruits...and more fruits....

Been drinking kiwi smoothie all week long, I don't know how my life was before I've discovered these smoothies...and I'm glad M is asking me in the morning..."are you making a smoothie?". He always makes sure I have necessary ingredients like bananas, and this week...kiwis. And also carrots. I was insanely craving for carrot juice; and I like to listen to my body...it knows better than me what I need at a certain moment...
I've re-started teaching... English, French and I'll be teaching Romanian also...

 

so all in all...I am quite busy this fall...but am not complaining, I like having a full life!
Above that all, I am preparing baby steps towards my goal for eco living, and my dream farm, and I've been training for it this Saturday:

 ...this in not the actual farm, of course, but my friend Tunde's little garden behind her new house makes a good practice ground. We took Beby with us to help us dig holes...much on grass...etc.. and decided to clean up her garden, just for training...and planting two trees. It was awesome, we've been working for about 3 hours with two small brakes, but it gave me that necessary energy to last for a week. It's really strange how working with nature can give you so much energy, even though the work isn't easy; but while working in the office your brain gets drained-out of power...

 I have to admit I like it, I love it in fact, and I can do this for hours. Mind me, I'm not a city girl..I've been doing this kind of work since infancy, until I came to Timisoara, and started working here; but I've always worked my garden back home at Racasdia. Since my home there is empty now, I've decided to transform part of my huge garden into an orchard, and I've been proudly presenting my first steps here.

 Now I intend to work harder into becoming that for which I truly believe I was destined to be: a farmer, since my connection with nature is palpable for me, and probably for some of the people that know me better. I know working a small garden, or even planting ten trees is far from some big project; but I find it challenging to start from the bottom and go up step by step, working my way with my own two hands.

  So, besides eating yummy raw food, there should also be some activity that is healthy and lifts your spirit. It doesn't have to be working in the garden like me, although it is recommended to at least plant something once in a while (the satisfaction of watching it grow is unmeasurable!), but is should be something that makes you truly happy, and it should be outdoors; basking in the sun, absorbing all those good autumn sun rays.

Going back to smoothies, I've tried something new: banana+ kiwi + pommegranate:

and it was great; I just have to admit that I didn't like the color of it...I mean I like my smoothies to be vibrant, and this was just not it...so I'll be more careful when choosing ingredients for my special drinks...It proves once more that you have to experiment until you find the combinations that go for you and your taste buds, and your eyes also!
I've also received a lot of quinces...I'll have to try one in a smoothie...just have to let them ripe a little more...

In another order of ideas, I've been using some special detergent for the past week:

...soap nuts: they clean clothes exceptionally well, surprisingly well in fact!

..this is the best way of showing being eco-friendly can be cheap and interesting....as this bag of 1 kilo of nuts will last for at least 3 months, and it was way cheaper then conventional detergent. I just have to buy some lavender essence to use as a conditioner; in order to make clothes smell good. I've been using a little bit of vinegar and the clothes smell fresh, but I like them to have a little bit of flowery- aroma. But I wholly recommend this detergent. For Romanians, we can buy these nuts here. 
And here's how they look like:

I truly recommend them to anyone who has to wash clothes that are moderately dirty, but I have to say I've washed M's clothes that he uses in his mechanic shop...and they turned out pretty clean (as clean as they can get, from vaseline, and diesel, and all kinds of oils...), so I'm really satisfied with the result. I don't appreciate the hard smells of chemicals on my clothes, so that's a plus also, I've given the alternative to conditioner, and black clothing will be black longer with a little bit of vinegar, so there you have it: eco solution, good result, nice smell, longer lasting colors and all in all: cheap alternative!

So what would be our mantra further on?

Eat healthy,  living foods, bask in the sun, work the earth with your own hands, try to be friendlier with our water resources, and above all, respect life!

Reasons I love autumn....

Apart from being my birth season, and making me feel alive and may eyes find joy in all the color...

.....no need for excuses to drink tea over and over again during the day and afternoon....after my heart's desire...

...as I'm a huge Lipton fan....but any other good tea will do...

wearing layers.....over layers...staying more at home...and reading....

...and then read some more...until I fall asleep.....

...and have some more tea and maybe a little bit of wine...and then there are the landscapes..

source for all 3: tumbrl

...and then there's the fog I love so much...
and sometimes cold days are the best days....oh, how much I miss staying in my cozy living room, with my cats all over me, reading a good book and sipping on tea! I think I need a long vacation...

Jam is ready...

I've finished making the prune jam...3 batches...of 6 jars each...

...and I still have to make the apple compote....and apple jam...and I just received this weekend some quinces...I'll have to make jam out of them too!
This morning I woke up half an hour earlier just to make the smoothie I've been craving for a week: carrot juice+banana!
It takes a lot of time because my juicer (which is not quite professional, but does the job) has to be cleaned-up afterwards, otherwise I wouldn't be able to clean it up anymore after all gets hard on it...
and the result met my expectations, probably also because I wanted to drink something like that for some time...but was too lazy to wake up...

...the photo has a strange "aura" ...I know...but I kinda' like it...
mine also had some parsley leaves in it....need some green in my life right now!

May the gentle plant devas help us on our way to enlightnment!

let's cheer up!

It's my favorite time of the year!!

yaaaay!!!!

The Popeye diet...

I don't like spinach...in fact I hate it! I don't like it cooked in any way, not even in pasta or with cheese, I pure and simply hate the taste of it! And I'm not really a picker, but spinach is one of the few things I really don't like to eat. In fact, there are so few, that I currently can't remember anything else that I would never eat....
So, like I said, I hate it, but if you receive a sac of spinach what do you do with it? you boil it a little, mince it and freeze it. That's exactly what I did with mine....but I left some...for an experiment...

...that looked like this:

...and tasted surprisingly awesome!! my first sip was hesitant...then I drank it all quickly...because it tasted very very good!

And so my breakfast for every morning of last week consisted of 1banana+ 1 full fist of spinach + a little bit of water....and I didn't feel the need to eat anything by 12.00 o'clock! On the right is M's smoothie...banana + I don't remember.....he's not really curious about that "greenish stuff"

I do believe that if I hate cooked spinach, but loooove green, leafy and crunchy one...then it must have an especially good taste, right?

...really missed this one, right?

I hope everyone has a wonderful time during this wonderful autumn!

On our addiction to pain...

As stated in my last post, I'm currently reading "Augustine, a mother's son", and I'm close to the end. What impressed me and practically left me bouche-be like a French would say it...
There is a concept there, that I've been reading about in Eckhart Tolle's book, Quietude, that left me thinking for a while ...

 Augustine said:
"The grief itself is what one enjoys-what madness!"
in the context where he realized he enjoyed being made miserable by tragedies.

             Eckhart Tolle states quite the same thing in his great short book, which got me thinking alot about the sweet pain I sometimes feel, and I think I am not alone here in saying that; nor are poets the only ones that braved this feeling.
Among so many other things in his book, E. T. says "Ce sont vos pensees qui vous rendent malheureux, dont vos interpretations, les histoires que vous vous rancontez" (my translation: It is your thoughts that render you miserable, in your interpretations, the stories you tell yourselves)...." ....l'égo a besoin d'énnemis pour definir ses frontieres..." (m.t: the ego needs enemies in order to define its borders) and "Bien de formes de souffrance, subtiles et moins subtiles, sont si normales qu'on ne les recconait pas habituellemennt come etant de la souffrance." (m.t: A lot of suffering shapes, subtile and less subtile, are so normal, that we normally do not recognize them as being suferings).

              Preety much the same thing, but from a different point of view. While Augustinus, when he said this, there was simply the recognition of that sweet pain we all feel at some time in our lives and enjoy it, be it crying at a theater play, or enjoying self-pitty; Tolle is speaking about our general addicton to any kind of psychological pain, pain which can be good for some reasons, but only to a certain degree.
Pain can make us understand ourself and our brain's functions better, helps us see how we react to problems, and by reading this in one book we might even realize that we are self-pittying ourselves for some thing or another.
            Different from Augustinus' pain, and more scrutinized, Tolle's "malheur" is the manifestation of our ego, who feeds on it in order to grow and overcome our true nature, which should be anchored in the real present moment at the time of the speech, and not relenquish in some past experiences.
It is neccessary to suffer in order to understand that suffering is useless; this is the main idea Tolle highlights in one of his books, fragment from his great success "The power of now". This is an easy-written book, although in order to grasp some of its ideas you need to read it over and over again, and you will surely understand something more each time.
I doubt it that Tolle read Augustine, and I really have no idea about what further thoughts the latter had on pain, but I am planning to read his masterpiece, "The City of God" and maybe after that I will be able to develop  this post more, but I thought this first aspect important in both their views, and as I've already promised to talk about the books I'm reading; I just had to share this idea.

Lucky me I have it borrowed from my friend and highschool colleague, Andy (yet again one more book to add to my huge pile of borrowed books, as if I was in need of any more material....) in exact the edition seen above!

As a conclusion, one must think of the fact that our own minds take us sometimes for fools, play with us and really transform this so called mental pain into literally physical pain; and it is somewhat appealing and calming to know you have the answer to resist it in one book. The only problem is that, in order to be able to listen to this book, a long and thorny way lays before the reader, as self-contentment is not something easily reached... Yes, we might try to fight it by anchoring ourselves in the present, but sometimes it is so hard that we just let ourselves be taken away by guilt, despair, self-pitty or dissapointments.

I hope this made some kind of sense, and I will be trying to comment on the books I'm reading more, especially trying to be more positive than this time....

little pleasures...

I am not a great cook, a great raw vegan dieter, nor even a great photographer, less so the awesome writer I dream of becoming, for which I still have a long time to go and ink to spend...but I do like taking photos, documenting my life and keeping journals. I've been writing journals since I can remember...I remember having one in my third grade, writing about my life back then and my experience, and most of all beliefs. I regret not keeping them, I had my crazy periods also when I burned them all down, because at that time I thought these journals were stupid and childish...and now I bitterly regret my denial teenage period. It would have made a great reading today, my vocabulary at 7-9 years....should have kept them!
As I've grown up I forgot about that passion, but somehow managed to get back on track, and I must say documenting everything I do keeps it in my memory and keeps me on my right track....
So here are my recent adventures, with some of the technology of the XXI st century, even though not the latest...
I've been making apricot and prune jam....

....and just for the purpose of bragging about it...I've set up a photoshoot at my working place...on my balcony :D

...and I am modestly but trully happy with the result....in my humble opinion it looks awesome, at least these photos are eye candy for me :D...

I'll be having enough prune jam for the whole winter...and probably more...since it is yummy, I've been using the traditional method of boiling it, but only with a little amount of sugar, compensating with boiling it for about 12 hours...I think it will hold....I am so happy I received the bigger part of the prunes from one of my work colleagues, who had a rich bounty this year...and the other half, just as tasty, came from M's mom and directly from her garden...I was so happy to receive all these fruits!
This year was a really good one for prunes...and apples, I will be making apple jam very soon. Aaaa, and I haven't used any preservatives, in case someone wondered...I never use, not even aspirin, as some do, because if you boil it long enough, it will hold anyway.
Part of the apricot jam was made with the classical method, and part I've made by boiling the mashed up fruit already in jars, practically boiling the jars. I couldn't help it and opened one..It tastes awesome, refreshing as I used the smallest amount of sugar and the color is just as if I had just mashed the fruits...awesome!
I'm thinking about using this method on all the aples....

In yet another order of ideas, I've documented a little this flower's life...here she is at just a few weeks after I stole the branch from my friend, Alida's home....while talking care of her cat and watering her flowers when she was on a short one week vacation....

Romanians call this flower "muscata" and I have no idea how it's named in English, but we believe it brings prosperity to your house, especially if it flowers...and mine did! She did so 2 months ago...and today she looks like this:

...heavily burdened with flowers...should this mean something? who cares if I'm being superstitious, 'cause I don't!
My flowers will be a problem very soon, as it's getting chilly, and I will have to find them refuge, somewhere away from my flower-vore cats...
And I have plenty of them, and many not just cacti, which can escape the cat-menace...
My last idea comes to say that I'm currently on an easy reading diet....

..simple, quiet, deep enough and history- loaded just enough to protrude through my brain's anti-sapientiae shield....
...and this is my proud- inducing working space I've created all the above in, except that my really nice neighbors are unfortunately not in a vacation to a far far away land.....:(

...one last thought and I'm off for good...I tried to eat carambola last evening...

and I've come to the conclusion that I should probably stick to my prunes and apples. Call me an enemy of the new, exotic and interesting if you will, but that's just what I believe!

Until next time!

May all the goodness in the world be upon us!